We’ve been talking “school choice” around here! (Public and Homeschool, Homeschool, Public School Part 1, Part 2) Erin wraps up this series with her heart on being “undecided”.
By: Erin Davis
Here’s a little background.
I am the daughter of a teacher. My momma has a master’s degree in education. She taught in my public elementary school for decades. She only allowed us to miss school if there was proof we were literally at death’s door. Needless to say, education was a highly elevated virtue in my house growing up.
Perhaps that’s why I went on to get a master’s degree in education. I taught high school social studies for several years. I believe strongly that good things can and are happening in our public schools and I had a front row seat to the challenges that exist in that arena.
One of my very best friends runs a homeschool co-op. Her kids are turning out to be smart, well-rounded, well educated little people. I have other friends who homeschool. I’ve admired their efforts and their results for years.
I also love what I am seeing in the small, Christian schools I’ve encountered. There is something very appealing to me about sending my kids into a setting where there are schedules, peers, and someone other than momma pushing my kiddos toward God’s Word.
I have the firm conviction what that while “reading and rythmatic” matter, they aren’t the most important things my children will learn. I want my kids to be educated in the eternal. I want them to know the Word, know the character of God, know their place in the bigger story of God’s kingdom. Sure, academic success would be nice, but most importantly I want them to succeed at whatever it is God has called them to. My prayer has always been that if they came to me at age 16 and said that God was calling them to a foreign mission field, that I would be a mom brave enough to sign them up for the GED and put them on a plane.
And yet, I have no idea how I want my children to be educated. Since my firstborn was in my womb I have wrestled with whether or not to homeschool my children, to send them to public school, or to send them to a private Christians school. Last year we sent our oldest, Eli to a public pre-school. He thrived there. We are sending him again this fall, and yet for me, the question about how we will educate our kids is still unanswered. As I wrestle with this issue, here are the things I know for sure.
I don’t need an 18 year plan
Any time I get the panics about how we will school our children, my wise and laid-back husband reminds me that this is a decision where we are free to remain in flux. We don’t have to decide once and for all what we are going to do. We can public school some years, and home school some years. We can send them to private school when that’s a wise stewardship decision for our family, and choose another option when it isn’t. We may have some children who do better at home and some who do better in a public classroom. That’s okay. We don’t have to accept a one size fits all mentality about education.
True, this approach requires a constant assessment of our kids. It makes us pray about our children’s education often and for many years rather than just right before they start kindergarten. It requires us to be very attuned to how they are doing and to be willing to make hard choices more than once.
But I like having the freedom to choose. If the purpose of my child’s education is to give them what they need to know in a format that works for them, I want to be able to assess that and re-assess that as time passes.
If you aren’t sure how you want to educate your children, know that you don’t have to make one permanent decision for your entire family or for your child’s entire educational career.
There is no “right” answer.
I wish the Bible included a few more thou shalt’s sometimes. Like for example, a “thou shalt send your kids to that great little Christian school down the road” would be good. But, there is no Biblical prescription here. That means that this is an area where we have freedom. Freedom is a good thing.
I know strong Christian families who are raising great, Christian kids in the public schools. Ditto on private school and homeschooling.
As we discuss this topic, it’s really important to acknowledge that there is no path that guarantees a certain outcome for your child and no path that guarantees protection from certain dangers.
With God’s help, and by His grace I can raise great kids regardless of where they attend school.
Fear based parenting is a lose lose
In our culture, it is tempting to keep our broods home simply because the world is big and scary. We can want to make certain choices to avoid mean kids or false doctrines or school shooters, but we cannot fully insulate our children against the dangers of this world.
While I think it is very wise to shelter our children and seek to protect them, making parenting choices rooted in fear will almost always backfire. Here’s a reminder we all need as we make this decision.
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.”
We shouldn’t skimp on the wisdom and innocence, but we also shouldn’t skimp on the “sending out.” God is our childrens’ protector, not their school building.
Discipleship is my job.
No matter where my kids go to school, I can’t outsource their spiritual development. Here are a few facts to chew on.
FACT: Parents have between 3,000-4,000 hours a year to disciple their child. In contrast, church staff members have less than 100 hours.
FACT: In study after study, teenagers list their parents as their number one influence when it comes to religious faith and practice, so much so that researchers have called the cultural assumption that a teen’s peer group is more influential then his/her parents as “badly misguided.”
FACT: Swiss researchers recently discovered that a dad who faithfully attends church (even if mom doesn’t) will raise kids who are 44% more likely to keep going to church as adults. If mom attends regularly but dad doesn’t attend, only 2% of the kids will attend as adults.
Proverbs 22:6 urges us to “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Training up our children is our job. Giving them the tools to live Godly lives is our job. Praying for them to be under the influence of God is our job. This is true no matter where they go to school.
Choosing a school for our kids certainly is a big decision, but sometimes I think we put a little too much on that line. There are risks and benefits to each schooling option. As I continue to think/pray/work through how we will handle education with our kids, I have learned to stop trying to have everything figured out and avoid every landmine and to simply ask God for wisdom for that child for that year.
If you’re on the fence about your child’s education, what questions are you wrestling with? What lessons are you learning along the way?
ERIN DAVIS is the founder of Graffiti Ministries, an organization dedicated to addressing the issues of identity, worth, and true beauty in the lives of young women. She is the author of Beyond Bath Time, which addresses the importance of motherhood as a sacred role. A popular speaker, author and blogger, Erin has addressed women of all ages nationwide and written several books including Beyond Bath Time, Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess, and The Bare Facts, co-written with Josh McDowell. Her quest for the perfect scoop of ice cream is never ending and her children Eli and Noble are her constant source of entertainment.